Cracks

19.7 Linda West

Spring 1998, The Scarlet Rose

When Linda entered, she found the restaurant her boyfriend had invited her for their first anniversary even more fancy than it had looked from outside.

"This place looks gorgeous!", she said to Brian.

"Not even half as gorgeous as you, darling!", he replied smiling, while arranging her chair for her.

"Thank you, Brian!", Linda said.

Slowly she had become used to get so many compliments from him.

The waiter arrived to bring the wine card. He was so quiet, Linda barely noticed him approaching.

"I hope you don't mind that I preordered a menue for us already?", Brian asked her. "Like this we wouldn't be bothered."

"It's fine!"

Linda didn't mind, as long as it wouldn't be anything weird.

She let Brian chose the wine, too.

When their food arrived, Linda noticed it actually looked weird. But not in a bad way. And she was in such a good mood because she could finally see Brian again after his two-week business trip, that she even was willing to give it a try.

"This looks really great!", she smiled.

"Only the best is good enough to celebrate our first anniversary", her boyfriend smiled back at her.

So many things had happened since she had met him. Her sister got married, her best friend had a baby, and she had finished her dissertation.

And in all between, she had dated Brian.

Linda sighed. "The time really passed fast..."

"And it was wonderful. You are wonderful, Linda!", Brian said to her.

She felt a warmth coming up her cheeks and had to chuckle.

Not only had she got used to his compliments, but slowly she even felt flattered.

Like compliments should make you feel.

"I mean it", Brian insisted. "I cannot imagine anyone else to be by my side anymore."

"Brian - "

Linda felt touched, but also a bit nervous.

"And therefore I would like to ask you – Linda West, would you do me the honour and be my wife?"

"Oh... oh my god..." Linda stuttered.

She hadn't been prepared for this.

At all.

"Linda?"

"Yes...", she finally managed to say. "Yes, I would like to!"

She would be able look at his beautiful face every morning! Wouldn't that be just so perfect?

Now Brian sighed. "I almost thought you would reject me! But now you make me the happiest man in the world! It will be so nice coming home after work to my sweet little wife and a home cooked meal!"

Linda had to chuckle.

"Except that I normally work longer than you", she said then.

He would rather have to wait for it.

Brian seemed confused for a second. "Why would you keep working?"

Linda didn't understand why she should quit.

"Huh? I like my job...", she said, confused.

Brian smiled and gave her a teasing look. "I guess you'll think differently after our first baby is born!"

"What, baby??"

Oh crap. Linda had forgotten that marriage usually involved babies sooner or later. Which meant she would have to quit. No chance getting meaningful results in the lab while taking care of a baby.

"Of course!", Brian said. "Our children will be wonderful!"

"I think I prefer my research...", she said insecurely.

"Oh - don't be so unreasonable!" Brian even laughed now. "What would you even want with all that sciency stuff?"

Linda started to feel her blood pulsing. "Unreason- ", she started, but Brian hadn't finished.

"You're a woman, after all!", he said, smiling his I-know-it-better-than-you-anyway-smile.

Linda had seen it so often.

And she was so angry of herself that she only realized its meaning now.

"I'm not gonna marry you to be your housekeeper and babysitter!", she said, with all the composure she could pull up now.

She hadn't the nerves to stay any longer. So she got up to leave.

"Linda!", she heard him calling her behind her.

She remembered something, and turned back.

"And I like my cat shoes!", she spat at him.

Then she left for good.

18.2 Graduation

Winter 1998, West residence

The party had gone for quite a while. Most of the guests were drinking, dancing and just enjoying themselves. Linda rather opted to sit down and relax a bit. She had had to stand for almost the whole day already.

"So what will you do now, with that Doctor title of yours?", Brian asked her, smiling.

"Actually, the university asked me to stay at the research center and continue experimenting on my project", she replied, feeling the warmth of shy pride on her cheeks.

"Oh, that's such a nice offer!", her neighbour Madeleine exclaimed.

It was, just...

"The only downside is that I'll have to give lessons too...", Linda sighed.

There was no job at the university, without at least some teaching involved.

"Well, learning how to teach others might be a very usefull skill for your future!", Brian said.

Only that Linda hated to speak in front of audiences.

She sighed once more. "Maybe you're right...". It never was bad to push one's boundaries, after all.

Behind her she heard her neighbour Jesse approach. "Maddie, why dun' ya dansssss....", he tried to articulate himself.

"Jesse!", Madeleine whispered sharply, "Don't drink so much!"

Almost in the same second she turned to Linda: "Oh, how the time passed! I think we have to leave now, dear. Have a nice party!"

She barely finished and got up already.

"It was nice to have you here!", Linda replied politely, trying not to break out in laughter.

"Linda, darling", Brian also turned to her. "I'll have to prepare for the business trip tomorrow, so I have to go now, too. I'll see you next weekend?"

Linda nodded.

He kissed her goodbye on the cheek.

"Good night, darling!", he said.

"Good night!"

Linda slowly felt how tired she actually was. And just the thought of cleaning up the mess the guests had caused, gave her a head ache.

"You look like you could use another drink!", she heard Frank coming towards her.

"I could use a good night's sleep...", she shot back, without paying too much attention.

"Oh - I didn't mean... ", Linda immediately felt bad for being so impolite. Also she just realized that they had barely talked the whole night. And she felt sorry for it.

"Hey," Frank showed an apologetic smile. "You probably didn't have enough the last few days."

Linda knew he understood the stress of preparing a hearing.

He turned towards the others. "Guys, taco Friday is starting at the Mudhole, let's go!"

The other guests cheered, and started to move towards the door. Most of them were quite drunk.

Linda watched them amused.

Frank turned to her once more. "Good night, Linda," he said. "Tomorrow I'll come help you clean up."

Linda smiled. "Thanks", she replied.

"Hmm, I think we overdid the partying a little?", her sister chuckled, coming to her, while Herbert tried to drag out Mariella, who apparently didn't want to let go of the puppy.

"Did you seriously just invite everyone you know?", Linda said, but she had to laugh. "The house was cramped full!"

"I didn't invite the Brandenburgs!", Mae answered, pulling off the most innocent face she could manage.

Both women had to laugh.

18.1 Graduation

Winter 1998, West residence

Linda finally arrived home. Today had been a hard day. She finally had had her hearing about her doctorate thesis she had submitted. The examiners had been harsh on her, and even though she was more than well prepared, she had needed sometimes to think about their questions.

She was just glad it was over.

Now she looked forward to just relax, maybe take a bath, and read some fiction for a change.

But when she opened the door and started the lights, the room was packed full.

"Congratulations on your Doctorate!", about twenty voices cried out.

"Oh my!" Linda was definitely surprised. "Mae, what's this?", she asked her sister.

"A graduation party for you!", Mae replied cheerfully.

"How did you know I'd pass?", Linda asked her.

"Come on...", her sister said, "You're maybe the smartest person I know, and you work like crazy! There's no chance in the world you wouldn't!"

Maybe that was a bit exaggerated, but Linda still felt flattered a little bit.

"Let me guess – you even got maximum points?", Mae asked then.

"Uhm... yeah", Linda admitted shyly.

"I knew it!"

"Congratulations, you sweet little scientist!", now Brian went forward, and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"Thank you!"

And then Delilah. "Congratulations, Linda! I'm so proud of you!" She hugged her tightly.

"Thank you, Dee!"

"Congratulations! Want a Margherita? Leroy made some, they're quite good!", Diana said to her. It seems everyone wanted to talk to her now.

"Thanks... ", Linda said, taking the glass.

"What did you work on?", Leroy asked her, "Dee said something with plants?"

Linda wasn't used to so much attention.

"Yes, I got some alien plant samples from the SRC. I sequenced their genome code", she explained.

"Really?! So you managed!", Frank said. Linda distantly remembered she might have told him once something about her doctorate work. But she wasn't sure how much anymore, or when it was.

"That plant still gives a big head ache to the astrobiologists at the SRC!", he continued.

Ah yes, he worked there, too.

"Hey Frank, shut up with the nerd talk!", Paolo interrupted him now. "Others want to congratulate her too!"

This was gonna be a long night, Linda thought.

But she was happy.

Marriage is bliss

16.7 Linda West

Summer 1997, Atkins vacation house

When Linda arrived back at the house from her stroll in the woods, she found Brian in the back yard, sitting on one of the benches and reading a book.

"You're back? Did you find what you were looking for?", he greeted her.

"Oh yes!", she replied. "Here are so many interesting plants! I took a few samples to study them in the lab."

Field studies had always been her favourite. She loved just going out into nature on her own, enjoying the fresh air, and discovering new things.

She never got tired of it.

Brian laughed. "All you think about is work!", he said. "You should relax a bit, too."

But work was relaxing for her, Linda thought.

She had a feeling that he wouldn't understand it, though, so she didn't bother to explain it to him. 

Instead she just nodded, and sat down next to him.

In front of her Mae, Herbert and Mariella played in the pool.

They were squeeking and laughing while apparently having a competition who could splash the most water on the others.

"What a happy family", Brian said. "It makes you wish sometimes to have one too, no?"

Linda still hadn't really thought about that.

But she guessed that if everything kept going on between them like it did now, one day he would ask her to start one with him.

"It could be nice, yes", she said.

She didn't mind the idea, but still didn't want to give it deeper thoughts.

It was fun to watch her sister's family.

"What's with those shoes?", Brian said suddenly.

"Huh?" Linda looked down. She wore her favourite black loafers, which she had found once on a flea market. One of the few flat pairs she owned.

"They have cats on them", Brian pointed out.

"I like them", she said. "And they're comfy."

Why she had the feeling she had to explain herself?

He laughed. "I guess here you can wear them!"

Marriage is bliss

16.6 Brian Atkins

Summer 1997, train to Granite Falls

They decided to take the train to their vacation. Like that they avoided the traffic jams that appeared all over at the beginning of the holiday season.

The girl, Mariella chatted excitedly with her parents about the nature they passed.

Had she never been out of Oasis Springs?

"It's your first time here?", Brian asked her.

She nodded towards him, then kept ravishing to her new mother about the size of trees.

"How excited she is! Thank you again for inviting us, uhm - Brian", Herbert said.

"No big deal! The more come, the merrier it is!", Brian replied.

It would be nice to spend some time with his girlfriend's family.

And they were different than the people he usually spent time with.

Refreshing.

Linda had looked out the window almost the whole train ride, and stayed mostly quiet. She looked like she was not even here.

"What are you thinking, darling?", he asked her.

"Huh?", she said, then turned towards him.
Brian could see that he had pulled her out of some other place she was visiting in her mind.
"Oh, I was just enjoying the nature", she said.
Sometimes he just didn't understand her.