Retrospective: Paris - After the mess was over

5.3 Mae West – Being with you

Winter 1994, Mae's apartment

"It was the first time my mom and I cooked together." Mae told Francesco about her time in Newcrest. She had returned this afternoon, but they hadn't talked much yet.

The moment Francesco came home from work, he had swept her off the floor. Her unpacking could wait, they had to make up for their time apart first.

"The last time I remember that she made food," Mae continued, "was before my dad died, and then she said I was too young so she didn't let me get close to the stove."
"I'm glad your mum is better now," Francesco said. His fingers traced her arm up and down while he listened.
He meant it and it still puzzled her that someone cared about her family too. But they were friends, after all, and real friends cared.
"Me too." She sighed. "She is doing really well now."

Her mother developed a severe depression after her father had lost a long and tedious battle against cancer a few years ago. She had even periods where she was catatonic. It had taken a while until doctors found the right treatment for her, then she slowly got better. Yet, Mae felt like she still had to look after her mother.
When Linda proposed that she could take over instead and Mae should fulfill her dream to study abroad, Mae was reluctant at first, but eventually agreed to go to Paris.

And now when she came back for the Christmas vacation, she saw that Linda and their mother had done quite well on their own.

Their mother was almost the same as she had been before she got sick. She got tired easily, but she was interested in her daughters' lives again, and had taken over some house chores, too.
She and Mae prepared the Christmas dinner together, baked a lot of cookies and gingerbread men, and exchanged cooking and baking tricks.

And Linda thrived too after Mae had left. She worked on her doctorate in a prestigious lab. She had her hair cut, and started wearing lipstick, and even said she occasionally went out with her colleagues from the lab.
Mae was happy that her sister had broken out of her shell.

The holidays were quiet, but as happy as they hadn't been in years.

If only Mae could have brought Francesco with her. She was convinced her family would like him too, and maybe make up a little for his own. Francesco had told her that he had cut all ties with his family because they hadn't supported his relationship with Diego. He felt like they wanted to "fix" him, and he didn't need that. And though he said that he didn't care any more, Mae was sure he must be lonely. He had no one.

Still, she didn't have the courage to tell her family about her new room mate yet.

Okay, so this is Franny. Where? Well, he lives in my apartment, he was kinda - okay, totally homeless, so I invited him to live there. Yes, he has a job as a singer in a bar. And now works in a laundromat too. Of course he pays rent. No, we're not – dating, just – doing stuff. Yes, what question is that?! I know him well enough, we talked almost every night for like two weeks before his ex-boyfriend got shot in the head –

Nope, totally nope.

Her family had enough to worry about. She was afraid she would destroy the progress they had made.
And maybe they wouldn't have allowed to her to return to Paris again.
Nope.
The right time to tell them about him would come, but it didn't yet.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Francesco tapped her nose.
She hadn't considered that her concerns may show on her face again.
But he noticed. He always did.

"I feel terrible that I left you here alone," she admitted. "Were you lonely?"

He didn't expect that question and he took a few seconds to think.

"Not really," he said. "I had a lot of work. Looks like all of damn Paris wants to do their laundry between Christmas and New Year's Eve." He chuckled. "Ah... and Charlie came over a lot. I think she is lonely. She looks so sad all the time. I wonder what happened to her."

Of course Charlotte was sad. Mae's heart ached when she thought about her best friend's loss.
"I promised not to tell," she sighed.
"It's fine."
"But... I'm glad you had some fun together", Mae said, at least both her friends had some distraction.
Still, something irked her, she just couldn't figure what it was.

"You were alone here?"
The question slipped out before she could think. Great, of course he would interpret it completely wrong -

"Jealous?" And it even amused him.

"Of course not." It came out snappier than she intended. She did her best not to pout, at least. She had no right to be jealous, he was free to -

"I didn't sleep with her." That gloating smirk became softer, as if he wanted to assure her that she didn't have to worry. Completely unnecessary, of course, it was none of her business.

"Besides...", he said slowly and leaned back again, "her brother is much cuter."

"Arthur?", that caught her by surprise. She had never thought that he could be considered attractive. Sure, he was tall, blonde and had a smile that some may call charming, but he was her best friend's older brother and more, or rather, less competent watch dog... He felt more like family.
But Francesco's comment made her curious anyway.

"Do you think he likes men?", she asked. It would explain why Arthur still didn't have a girlfriend.
Francesco thought a little before he replied. "Nah. I doubt it."

Mae sighed. "Too bad..."
Because she was sure that a certain barkeeper at Tony's and Arthur would have got along well.

"Why too bad? Don't tell me you want to hook me up with him", Francesco teased.

"Not you!", she giggled. "I had someone else in mind, you're already -"
She suddenly became very aware of how used she was to have him around.
That unrest that she felt deep down while she was with her family made sense. It was different than the tension she was under for a while after she was kidnapped, it was like a big hole that only disappeared now, when he was there.

"Hm?"

He looked at her, curious and still amused, with those soft brown eyes that always made her feel fuzzy inside and a little warmer.
Still, he seemed also a bit nervous.
But he didn't have to be, because as much as Mae wished for it, she would never ask him to stay.
Every street and every corner here seemed to trigger a bad memory.
And there was nothing and no one Paris could offer that he wouldn’t be able to find somewhere else - somewhere where he could actually chase his dreams and be truly happy.

She did her best to smile.
"Already on the road being the next best superstar," she said.
She just had to make sure she would be very, very busy when he left.

He pulled her a bit closer.
"Not yet."

Mae snuggled a little closer into his warmth.