Retrospective: Paris - After the mess was over

5.2 Charlotte Roux - Loneliness

Christmas Eve 1993, Mae's apartment

Charlotte was completely out of breath after she'd arrived in front of Mae's apartment door. It was only the fourth floor, but the pregnancy exhausted her quickly.
Francesco opened.
"Don't you have family stuff to do? It's Christmas," he greeted her, visibly surprised.
Charlotte sighed. "My family gives a huge party. Honestly, I am tired of those stiff formal events so I sneaked out."

"It must be hard to be filthy rich," he grinned, while holding the door open for her.
"You have no idea!" she exclaimed with the same playfulness.

Just when she was about to take her coat off, a tapping noise caught her attention.

"A cat?" she was confused.
"Oh, he sometimes comes here for food, then leaves," Francesco said casually and opened the window.
He looked a little like a kid that was caught stealing cookies.
"I'm not gonna tell your landlord," Charlotte smirked. Pets were strictly forbidden in most apartment houses.
"I don't think it matters. He'll probably stop coming after a while anyway, maybe even before Mae is back." He shrugged.
Charlotte thought she caught a hunch of sadness. She wasn't sure if it was because of the cat or because Mae was gone two weeks to her family for the holidays.

"I miss her too," she said.
Charlotte, Mae and Francesco were the ones left who still hung out regularly. Their friends group had more or less dissolved after Dante's death, and all other people they met came and left randomly.
He had a car accident, or that's what they said.
Charlotte wondered if it was really true. It was a strange coincidence that he died the same day when  he came for Mae and behaved so weirdly. Just after Francesco got out of the police station and Etienne was killed. Also Dante avoided driving like the plague, unlike most other teens that usually couldn't wait to get behind the steering wheel when they were old enough.
He didn't even have to drive, their family had a chauffeur too.

And then there was Signor Corleonesi's strange behavior that evening. She had hired the Italian to find Etienne's murderers, and save her friends, if they were in danger.

He had finished the first part impeccably as expected. Maybe even a bit more thoroughly than she had asked for. Etienne would have preferred if the murderers had been brought to court instead of being just executed, but Charlotte didn't complain. They got what they deserved.

Signor Corleonesi had shown her pictures of the dead bodies, of course after asking if she wanted to see them – she did. And he had found a folder in the gangs' hide out, which had belonged to Etienne and contained proof that they were trafficking weapons and drugs. Apparently the lawyer had tried to bring them down together with the police.
But this wasn't like Etienne.
He only wanted to defend the innocent and poor, not punish criminals.

When she had brought up her concerns, Signor Corleonesi's face had changed.
"Sometimes it is safer not to ask too many questions, signorina," he said, "and I believe safety is more important than knowledge." It sounded very much like a warning. "I care very much for your safety, and I am sure so did your dear late friend," and he had given her a knowing look that made Charlotte worry if he suspected that there had been more than just friendship between her and the lawyer. She decided not to ask. She believed Signor Corleonesi when he said he cared for her safety, and she was sure he wouldn't expose her secrets, no matter what he believed.

Instead she had asked about Mae, Francesco and Dante.
But here Signor Corleonesi failed to finish his task. He claimed that he hadn't found them involved in any criminal activities in Paris, not even as targets. He insisted he would have known, if they were.
"They probably just have forgot the time and will come home sooner or later. I wouldn't be too worried," he had said.
He gave her a discount, and with that their talk was over.

Then the next morning, Arthur left. Their father had sent him to the Norwgian branch of the company to learn more about the family business. That Charlotte still intended to take over instead of her older brother didn't matter apparently, he had to leave immediately.
Her brother was visibly very upset about something more than the sudden move, though. He hadn't said anything explicit, but she could feel it. She knew him well enough.
His partner at the police, inspecteur Leroux, got transferred to another part of France the same day, too.

Later that day she had tried to contact her friends again. Mae and Francesco were back as if nothing happened. Mae had said Dante only picked her up because Francesco had had a special gig in his bar that night and had needed her help to make a decision. Dante had left shortly after he had brought Mae there, and they hadn't seen him since.
Francesco had a bruise on his face, but that happened at the police station, they said.
Also he was completely exonerated, thanks to Etienne, but he hadn't seen him after he left the police station, too.
Both her friends were shocked when she told them that he was shot. Mae even cried.

And then that evening, Dante's family called hers, and told them that he died.

At least her friends really didn't seem to be involved in anything, but something was still fishy.

But she chose to let it rest, ask no questions and move on.
It could be all coincidence, she reasoned.
Above all, Signor Corleonesi's voice still stuck in her mind.
And safety was now her first priority.

"I think the cinema next to the park shows some old horror flicks tonight. Wanna go?" Francesco pulled her out of her thoughts.

Charlotte knew he tried to cheer her up, but didn't escape her attention that he avoided talking about Mae.

"I thought you'd miss her more," she said.
She wasn't blind. They claimed they weren't dating, and she had seen both flirting with others when they went out. Mae had assured her that they didn't get involved because Francesco wanted to go back to the States soon, and neither wanted to keep up a long distance relationship.
And Mae was so annoyingly okay with it.
But the way she and Francesco looked at each other, Charlotte knew. It was the same as Etienne had looked at her.
And it stung again.
Her friends had each other, while she had no one anymore.
She was alone.
She didn't know if she was mad at them for having each other, or for not appreciating it enough.

Francesco struggled a little before he answered.
"Like hell," he finally admitted. He didn't know where to look at.
Charlotte might have found that shy almost-smile cute, if he wasn't so infuriating.

"But why do you want to leave then?" she groaned. "What will you lose if you just wait for a bit longer, until Mae is done with school?"
Charlotte would have done anything in the world if she could be with Etienne again. For a second, she considered telling Francesco her secret. Maybe it would convince him to rethink his plans.
But she wasn't ready to share it yet.

"It's more complicated than that," he said, "I barely can take care of myself. And –"

He stopped a second, as if to think.

But Charlotte didn't want to let him finish.
Whatever excuses he tried to find, he failed to see what mattered most.

"Tell me that she really is so easy to replace," she said, and she made him look her in the face.

He didn't say a word, but his eyes said everything.
They were full of love and longing, and it tugged at the bottom of her heart. She knew he was longing to be with Mae, but in this moment he looked at her. And she had missed that look so much.
Etienne...
She missed him so much.
If she could only...

Francesco's stubble was less scratchy than Etienne's morning shadow.
And his kisses were as soft as Etienne's, but almost mechanical.

Time stopped, and she was almost, almost back, a few months earlier, when things were as they should be.

Until a loud meow broke the spell.
Francesco seemed as confused as her. He blinked, then stood up to open the window for the cat.

Charlotte's heart raced.
What had she done?

She was grateful for Francesco's new attention-demanding pet.
Even though her friends weren't dating, Charlotte didn't want to get between her friends' not-relationship and complicating all their lives even more.
She didn't even like Francesco that way.

"She's not," he said across the room.
"What?" Charlotte had lost track.

"Replaceable. Mae's not replaceable," he said and dropped back on the couch. He seemed completely unaffected.
Right.
That was what they were talking about.
"S- sorry..." she mumbled.

"Forget it," Francesco waved it off. "Wanna go to the cinema now? We really could use some distraction."