Broken
21.1 Mae Schnautz
Spring 1998, Schnautz house
Mae took a minute to take a breath. After the blow the unwanted pregnancy had given her, she had looked around what other options she would have in life. She had been just curious, she never had intended to actually change anything.
But today evening she had finally found the last drop of encouragement she needed.
But today evening she had finally found the last drop of encouragement she needed.
And now she was surprised how well prepared everything was.
Just earlier she had talked to Nia on the phone, and the other woman was pleased that Mae would arrive tomorrow morning.
Just when she sat down to pack more things into her suitcase, Herbert came inside.
"Mae! So here you are! We were worried", he said.
Mae just realized she had left the wedding without saying a word, being too occupied with her own thoughts. She took another deep breath.
"What are you doing?", Herbert asked. He just had noticed the luggage and the mess in their bedroom.
"I'm moving to Myshuno", Mae said. It sounded so simple.
"Wait - what?!", Herbert cried out.
She couldn't look into his face, so she mindlessly took another piece to pack.
She felt the tears stinging in her eyes.
"Look... I did... I am really sorry. But we have to break up."
Herbert apparently didn't know what to say. "But.. what- why... what about us, and what about the baby..." he stumbled.
"I don't want one!", she cried out, louder, than she intended.
"Mae? What's happening?", Mariella came inside, too.
Oh no. Mae hadn't thought about Mariella. Leaving her felt even harder than leaving Herbert.
"Why you didn't tell me?" Herbert asked quietly.
Mae turned around.
"Why are you packing?" Mariella asked. She looked at Mae's teary face, and then to her father, sitting down on the bed. And Mae saw the realization struck her face.
"You promised you'll be always there for me, and now you're just leaving?!", the girl cried out.
"Marie, baby... I'm sorry, but I have to..." she tried to explain herself. "But I'll be always there for you..."
But Mariella slapped her hand away.
"You lied to me, Mae!", she yelled, then turned around and stormed out of the room.
Mae closed her luggage and left. She couldn't hold her tears anymore.
"Weren't you happy?", she heard Herbert ask quietly. He still sat on the bed, and she knew he cried.
"...No" she lied.
She had been happy.
But she wanted different things in life than he.
Wow. This was really cruel and selfish. Can't say I'm liking Mae after this. You just don't treat people this way.
ReplyDeleteWell... you normally don't run around and kill people either xD
DeleteIt's not good what she did, and definitely not in this way. I wonder if she can ever redeem herself?
I hate it that she didn't even talk to him before she made the decision. That's very unfair and I repeat: selfish. Herbert deserved explanation at least. I don't know if I can forgive her for this. This act puts her at the same level as Alejandro in my eyes. Both of them acted selfish and completely ignored feelings of their partners and kids.
DeleteI hate to say this but I seen it coming. Herbert and Mariella are the injured parties naturally but I'm not that angry with Mae. Mae made some huge mistakes here.
ReplyDeleteShe should have never married Herbert without making sure that all of her unresolved feelings were dealt with. It's also not surprising me that this rash decision has been made after she had a run in with Francesco. She even sounded more upset at leaving Mariella than Herbert.
She should have been on the same page with Herbert about having children before they were married. When he did bring up the subject she should have been honest and told him that she wasn't ready for a baby at that time.
She also should have sat down and discussed her feeling with Herbert instead of letting him walk in while she was packing.
I always thought this marriage was doomed from the start so I won't be too angry at Mae for leaving. Staying will only prolong the inevitable and make things worse than they already are. However I do think she was totally wrong for going as far as she did when I think on some level she knew she didn't love Herbert the way a wife should.
It was obvious, wasn't it? I am glad you're somewhat understanding. She was absolutely wrong with pushing things so far that she hurt everyone. And she'll have a lot to explain later, too.
DeleteAt least she finally has made a decision, just it was much too late.
Holy crap Mae, not well done my friend ; bad show
ReplyDeleteThat's... just walking out like that without warning? Selfish doesn't even begin to describe it.
That poor man and his little girl!
I understand the need to flee when you feel trapped, boo, but you need to strap on your big girl ovaries and use your words and proceed with tact.
Oi, my heart hurts now...
She's so messed up at this moment :c
DeleteTerrible reaction!
Man....I don’t expect that! She saw Fransciso and decided Herbert wasn’t worth it? She should have told him. I never expected her to just leave without a word.
ReplyDeleteNo, it's not that. I made the mistake and didn't explain her motives well enough.
DeleteI'll make up for that in the 2nd season. Not that I want to excuse her behaviour, but it's definitely not that she saw Franco again and decided, oh, Herbert's just nothing xD
that last image is so striking. I knew this was a bad idea. I just didn't think it would end like this . Poor Marie and Herbert. They don't deserve this. Mae royally screwed up. She shouldn't have rushed into this marriage. But I can understand her wanting to leave because she's so unhappy. I'm torn.
ReplyDeleteShe shouldn't have rushed! But when she realized everything was going too fast, the date was already set. And she did not NOT want it, so she tried to go through with it, and eventually be happy. Didn't turn out as she expected, tho :(
DeleteAnd now three people are hurt.
I forgot to mention last chapter that it is indefensible to lie to one's partner in such a serious matter. That she hasn't immediately told him about the pregnancy - okay. Don't keep his hopes up, it might be wrong. Things might happen. That isn't how you treat an equal, feeling human being you trust but okay. Secretly switching to contraception again? No. Way. And now up and leave? What would she have done if Herbert hadn't walked in on her? Left a letter? Either way, it's unforgivable. You can't trust such a partner. She was a scaredy-cat and put that above her relationship. She didn't even TRY to talk to Herbert even though he's so sweet, he might even have given in completely. That she didn't is a confession of failure - her own one entirely. Herbert has had a hard time to go all the steps up to marriage and she lets it all collapse like a house of cards. Would she stop for even a second and realize the dimension of the pain she has inflicted upon him, she will be DEVASTATED. Hopefully. If not, that will lower my opinion of her even more. She has acted selfishly, like a half-grown brat.
ReplyDeleteIt will take a LONG time for her if at all to re-gain my good will.
No, she probably wouldn't have thought of leaving a letter. For now, she only has the one feeling in her head- get out. She's not thinking rationally.
ReplyDeleteWhat? She wouldn't have even left a letter? OMG. I can see Herbert searching for her, alarming the police and everything, both him and Marie worried sick about her. And she wouldn't even have the decency to leave an explaining letter as if she couldn't be bothered, as if they weren't worth her time. This chapter always gets me fuming. I know this marriage couldn't last, but the way she did it is simply horrible and unexcusable. Even after all that time since I read this for the first time, I still feel the same.
DeleteAt this time - no.
DeleteBut she went to Linda, and she'd called.
Not that it makes it much better.
I know a lot of people hate Mae for this, but her biggest mistake was marrying Herbert in the first place, even though Herbert is wonderful. They're just so totally different. Let him be wonderful for someone else.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest victim in this is Mariella. And I foresee this messing her up psychologically.
Yup, the whole marriage was a fail.
DeleteNeither should have married the other.
Wait.. she could have done this differently! Poor Herbert. I can imagine how confused he is! One moment they were happy and suddenly she's packing. She needs to talk to him. The poor dude. She made mistakes but you dont run after you have to talk and explain then leave. sigh.
ReplyDeleteyeah it was a total head over heels reaction from her.. she has been unhappy for a while, but since she didn't know how to deal with it, she kept pretending everything is fine, until it became too much and she cracked.
Deletenow all she can think of is getting out.
not a good way to handle this, ofc. 😐
I'm sure this will be a good thing for everyone involved in the long run, including herbert, but man, Mae handled this exceptionally poorly. This is the problem with committing to someone on such a serious level when you're only feeling lukewarm about them - she was always one step out of the door, so this wasn't a big step for her, but Herbert got blindsighted, and Mariella is caught up in this mess. The least she owes him should be an actual explanation, owning up to the truth - he would be heartbroken, but it would give him closure. But no, she just up and leaves, leaving him wondering what happened. It is very in character for her, but damn, Mae..
ReplyDeleteYeah, the whole marriage was a mess... And Herbert deserves someone that really loves him and wants the same things in life. Mae does too, but first she'll have to find herself.
DeleteShe's acting very much on impulse here, because she finally understood, really understood, that this marriage can only make both of them unhappy in the long run, and she panics.