Retrospective: Paris - How things happened

3.9. Mae West - Screw that
Fall 1993, Mae's apartment

Mae was right that her unintended confession had changed their friendship forever. When Francesco had turned to her again, with that "But-I-can't" face, she had mentally prepared for a polite rejection. Not that it would have changed anything about her own feelings. She cared for him, she wanted him to be happy, and if she couldn't be his girlfriend, she would be content enough to be just his friend.
Not happy, but content enough.
"Mae, this is - "
But his expression had changed when their eyes met.
"...not a..."
He didn't finish.
And a few quiet seconds passed, and just when she thought she should explain that nothing had to change, and he could stay here without worrying that she would peek behind the shower curtain - most certainly not - but if he did worry, she would try and help him find another place - he just had shrugged his shoulders.

"Screw that", he had said, more to himself than her, and then, right to her face, "I love you too, Mae."
"Uh?", she had replied, very witty.

Turned out "screw that" was directed towards his worries, that incidents like the murder and the police investigation would rather make it a bad idea for them to be more than just friends.
He couldn't give any specific reasons, it was more an uncertain premonition that something had to backfire on him - and inevitably on her if she got deeper involved with him than she already was.
But there were no facts.
And apparently being able to kiss her again was tempting enough to discard his hazy worries.

Not that he said that literally.

And they didn't really had to tell anyone.

Also, it turned out there was something like bisexual - Mae hadn't known!
If she had had only the slightest idea, of course she wouldn't have run around in her underwear in front of him. Well - maybe she would have, but certainly, she'd put on something more raunchy instead of her comfy strawberry skivvies.
Not that she said that literally.
Francesco never had bothered to tell her, because he never thought it could matter anyway.
Well, now it did.

Since The Most Awkward Confession Ever, two weeks had passed. Francesco had officially registered at her place, and after a short discussion, Mae had agreed to let him pay half of the rent and food money. Not because she needed it, but she felt he did, to keep his self-respect. She rewarded him with more expensive food and herself with more cheap wine instead.

"If you're not going, you'll never know", she said, after thinking for a few seconds.
Francesco just had told her about his fall out with sneaky Suzette and his hopes to have more success with a music career back in the states.
Suddenly his dislike for her being on top and his inexplicable aversion towards boy bands made sense to her.
What a shame.
At least Francesco could admit some of them were quite hot, though he couldn't stand her singing along to their songs.
Not that it ever had stopped her.

"You're not gonna miss me?", he smirked and kept strumming Dante's guitar. Mae's friend had lent to him after he heard that Francesco had lost his own.
"I'll be fine", she said. "You can write me a letter when you make it."
Francesco gave her again one of his examining looks and she tried her best to hide the sudden sadness that filled her. Of course she would miss him.
"Don't lie", he said.
Dang, she failed again.

"Okay, maaaybe", she admitted, stretching the second word. "But I also want you to be happy."
She knew here he wasn't. Not only that he worked two jobs - he had found another one at a laundry service besides the bar one, to be able to afford more than just the minimum expenses - but also the grumpy inspecteur called him over for questioning almost every day.
Just to wear him down, Mae was sure, since Francesco always came back home with no other results than him being more frustrated than he was already before.
"It's not that I could leave too soon anyway", he said. "We've got time to figure things out."

He was right, Mae thought. She was not so naive to believe that being separated by half the planet for at least a year or longer wouldn't take its toll on their relationship, no matter how many letters were written. Unless they were dirt rich and could afford regular visits, which neither was.
Or married, but for that it was too early to think of yet, besides, they were both still too young for such a serious decision.
Mae wasn't even sure if she ever wanted to get married. And Francesco didn't strike her as a married-with-three-kids-and-a-dog person either.
He wanted to play his music, travel the world and sing on its biggest stages instead.

Mae was sure one day he would, but until then, it was their time.

And Mae was determined to make the best of it.

"I can't play like this", he complained between her kisses, but she could feel him smile.

Just then the hard knock on the door let her jump up and run for her clothes.
Why did someone always have to leave the house entry door open...

The two police officers made her heart almost stop.

"Nous demandons à Monsieur de la Cruz de nous accompagner, s'il vous plaît", one of them said.

So far Francesco had been called to the station by phone, or Arthur had told him he should come over the next day.
This time, something serious happened, Mae knew.
She just hoped there wasn't another witness found.

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Translations

"Nous demandons à Monsieur de la Cruz de nous accompagner, s'il vous plaît." - We would like Mr. De la Cruz to please come with us.