S2/03. Convergence

3.5 Mae West
Summer 1998, B-factory, San Myshuno

The B-factory, a mid-sized event venue in the center of San Myshuno, was stuffed with people. Many of them had colorful hair, all kinds of tattoos and lots of metal on their faces. It was hot, loud and the air thick and stuffy. Mae couldn't quite understand the fascination with all the scruffy guitar riffs, the screaming and the rather violent "dancing", but she had to admit: the mood was contagious, and she was in high spirits.

It wasn't just a single concert of Mariella's and Fernandez' favorite band. Averfest was a yearly recurring event organized by San Myshuno's biggest alternative music record label, where their signed bands performed a few of their most popular songs. All of them couldn't stop mentioning how much they loved their "home base", much to the crowd's delight.

Mariella and Fernandez got more and more excited over every new band that entered the stage. They were all riled up by the time it was their favorite band's turn, and once Toxic Purple came on, Mariella was at her peak.

She cried tears of joy and screamed her lungs out to all of the songs. Mae didn't regret for a second that she went with the kids when she saw how much it meant to them.

Mariella idolized Lyta, the singer, only like a teenager could. Since she and Fernandez arrived in San Myshuno, she'd talked about nothing else but Toxic Purple. Mae'd learned more about the band than she'd ever cared to know, from their humble beginning, to their most successful – though not best – studio album, to Lyta's favorite food: apparently the singer was so "metal", she loved grilled maggots. Bleagh.

Either way, Mae could see why Mariella was so fascinated. Lyta exuded pure confidence, and her song lyrics were empowering.

When Toxic Purple's performance was over, Mariella fell into Mae's arms, a lump of gooey, hysterical emotions.

"This was the best best best thing that ever happened in my life!" She sobbed while gasping for air.

Mae squeezed her affectionately; her little, big girl!

"Yeah, it's very nice you took us, Mrs. Schnautz," Fernandez added, ever so politely, though he was choked up with emotions, too.

"Fernandez, you know you can call me Mae."

"Okay Mrs. – Mae..."

Fernandez had, contrary to Mariella, far too much respect for adults to dare calling them by their first name. Mae would probably be forever "Mrs. Schnautz" to him, even though she'd changed her surname back to her birth name after her divorce. 

"We can die happily now," Mariella sighed dramatically. 

Mae laughed. "Not before this concert is over," she teased. "Let's see who's next."

Mariella pulled a face. "Bah, it's only Fernandez' useless dad's band left to play now."

It took a second.

But then the implication slapped Mae in her face.

No way!

Mae quickly reconsidered dying after seeing the next band a worse idea than to do so right now – or at least turn around and run out of the building – but her feet were frozen in place, her eyes locked on the barely lit stage and the shadows whidding all over it. She was torn between flight and morbid curiosity.

It couldn't be, could it? 

The next band entered with a deep, pulsing bass that culminated into a shredding guitar and a low growl that sounded slightly familiar.

This was too much of a coincidence!

"San Myshunooo!" Someone shouted, a voice Mae was very familiar with. "Last to join the big, loving family of Mountaver! We! Are! –"

The headlights flashed up and poured bright light over the shadows on the stage. 

"Deep Rift!" The frontman shouted.

Fernandez' dad's band was also Francesco's band.

Drat! So they performed here, too. Okay, considering that Francesco and his band went to San Myshuno to advance their music career, it probably wasn't even so coincidentally that they were here, but Mae'd never cared as much as to give it a second thought when she went to the concert.

Oh well.

At least this wasn't the same as running into him personally. He'd probably never know she was even there, and it calmed down her racing pulse a little.

Why it started to race in the first place was inexplicable; after all they'd been done and over for a good four years and the few times she'd ran into him in Oasis Springs weren't really worth mentioning.

No, not even The Kiss. 

Not with all the months of dead silence after, until they happened to run into each other again, at a wedding of all places. They had nothing to say to each other, and still, the silence between them was louder than all the bands here combined. Full of words that were never spoken, and never would be.

He and she were nothing more than strangers, his band just another one on a setlist full of bands.

Mae could as well relax and enjoy their show, too.

And what a show it was!

Even though Mae did not know much about rock music, it was obvious that Deep Rift were highly skilled artists. Francesco was like born for the stage. He'd always been the kind of guy that turned heads wherever he went, and here he shone.

The crowd loved him. First a little reserved, the people went wild before the first song was over. The whole room jumped and danced, and whistled and screamed whenever he called on them.

It was strange, to see him so comfortably performing in front of all these people, as if he'd never done anything else in his life.

He seemed so far away now. Who was he, now?

There was nothing of the restlessness, the reservation, the caution, the distrust she'd known of him.

He talked quite a lot. Still with that same kind of dry humor, sprinkled with a tad of irony, but also with a sly smirk attached to it that made your heart skip a beat. Back then in Paris, she'd only found hints of it, he was too wary of everyone.

And what about the softness below all of that, which only she'd gotten to know? The gentle affection? It was hard to see. He caressed his songs now – the slower, more passionate ones.

Slowly, but surely, Mae started to understand.

It wasn't she who just wasn't enough for him - no one would probably ever be. Diana'd told her about Rosa, and it was just the same story as Mae's. He'd just up and left her too, to chase the fame, without ever looking back once. Then he'd send the divorce papers by post, not even bothering to come back once to talk. He didn't even care as much as to look at his little baby son! Would he move on soon, to another person who'd just be as disposable as Rosa and Mae'd been before?

Once the bruises of Paris healed, and the scars faded, this was his true self. It was the music for which he lived, the only thing he'd ever really care about.

It just... didn't fit with the Francesco Mae believed to have known. 

She'd been so blind, hadn't she? Avoiding to face the truth, even though it was so obvious.

All this time, Mae'd wished Herbert could've loved her like Francesco had. Passionately, uncompromisingly, life-riskingly, deeply; fully ignoring that it'd been nothing but a straw fire that was never meant to last.

Blinded by the fire, she'd missed to see what she'd really had with Herbert. Even if it was covered by the thick, dusty layer of grocery shopping, school appointments and general day-to-day boredom, it was a real relationship. No, she couldn't just be content with what she'd had, just get over her issues and make a baby, maybe get a dog too, be happy enough living a life like any other normal woman. No, she had to chase adventures, dream of passionate romantic movie-like love, just like a silly teenage girl.

All because of a meaningless fling with a man who, in reality, never cared much about her – or anyone – in the first place.

What an idiot she'd been!

And still.

Even now, it was so hard to take her eyes off of him. He just had a- a something, that caught everyone's attention, and Mae was just another one of these ludicrous little moths, drawn to the fire he lit, despite already having been burned by it too much.

Lost in self-pity and Francesco's heart-wrenching performance of an eerily gruesome love song, she wiped off something that brushed against her shoulder.

Only then the sensation returned, now a little bit firmer.

It was Fernandez, who meekly tried to get her attention.

"Mrs. Schn- Mae?"

He had to scream against the noise and still was barely audible.

"Do you know where Mariella is?"