S2/01. Trash Talk

1.6 Mae West

Spring 1998, The Coffee Dock, San Myshuno

 

"I'm just so disappointed!" Mae finished, then took a big sip of her strawberry milkshake and smacked the glass on the table with a little more force than necessary. The cold drink refresh her heated body, but not her heated mood.

She'd been dying to tell her new friend and room mate about her trip to Oasis Springs since she'd returned this afternoon, and after they finished their daily run they finally sat down at the Coffee Dock to talk.

Right after Mae and Herbert had officiated their divorce at the registry office, he'd approached her.

"That... that other guy you had the affair with..." he had stammered. "I just want to know if- if you really married me to get back at him?"

"What?"

"We did get married kinda fast, didn't we..."

This was a new, even lower version of the malicious gossip that went around. And worse, Herbert didn't even consider the affair might never have existed in the first place. 

"Shut up! That jerk!" Nia exclaimed. "And then?"

Mae frowned.

"Nothin'. I left," she mumbled.

"What?"

"It was just too much!"

She'd almost broken out in frustrated tears in the middle of the registry office.

After all of Mae's friends in Oasis Springs had turned their back on her, Herbert doubting her fidelty too was like another slap in the face. She'd expected at least him to know her better.
And come to think of it, she'd felt so bad she'd left that faithless chump!

A few hours after she dumped her marriage, she was in the train to San Myshuno wondering if she hadn't made a terrible mistake.

Sure, she'd occasionally imagined to leave Herbert, but never truly intended. When she did it was purely on impulse, a reaction to a concourse of unfortunate circumstances.

Their relationship had started so happy. Herbert always was shy and closed up, but the way he looked at Mae when they first met, let her heart beat faster. She felt so comfortable with him. Safe. Falling in love was easy.
Rather sooner than later they got married.

As time passed, he looked less and less at her. She hadn't even noticed how detached they'd become over their everyday life until he'd asked her to have a baby. Their estrangement scared her, as did the idea of becoming a mother already. But at second thought, a baby would bring them closer together again, she reasoned and discarded the unease in her guts. And wouldn't a baby make a marriage perfect? The cherry on top.

She was already a mother to his daughter Mariella, and she could be one to a second child too.

A failed pregnancy later, the bad feeling in her gut evolved into the conviction that she certainly didn't want a second child. At least not in the near future. And very likely not in the far future either.
She was confused. She'd always believed she'd want a big, happy family one day, but now she was terrified to start it with the man she loved. Herbert on the other hand, couldn't wait for her to get pregnant. 

Slowly she wondered if he cared more for her belly than her. So she watched him more closely and found her doubts confirmed. He'd become so indifferent towards her! No kisses, no hugs outside the bedroom.
Even the goodbye kiss before he left in the mornings felt more like another point to tick off the list of daily chores, and more oftem than not was simply forgotten.

Mae had heard that the romance would cool down in a relationship, but this was so soon!
She started to doubt his feelings for her, as well as her own for him.

What if their relationship wasn't the true love she always wanted?

Linda, whom she'd asked for advice, couldn't help her either. "Maybe you should tell Herbert you need more time to be ready for a baby," her sister had suggested.

But Mae didn't want to risk losing the last bit of his affection too.

 

On top of this mess, she ran into Francesco again. At a wedding, of all places.

There he was, in all his well-deserved rockstar glory, attraction of the day and stealing the show from the bride, as he usually didn't stoop down to attend their menial gatherings. Or so were her (former) friends' words. Whatever, he looked better than ever.

Maybe Mae was even a tiny bit starstruck. But when they shared brief moment of silence, it felt just like the old times. There was a deeper understanding between them that would be impossible to match; no matter how many words she'd ever exchange with Herbert. Back then in Paris, their crazy fling had felt so real, while Mae's serious relationship with Herbert now felt more and more like an act. She found she missed being with Francesco more than she'd care to admit, and it woke old feelings for him she'd presumed long dead and gone.
Love.
If he'd asked her to leave with him then, she'd followed him in a heart beat.
He hadn't.
Instead he'd left with his wife Rosa and her head aches.
And Mae had left Oasis Springs on her own, angry and disappointed over her miserable love life.

She regretted it almost immediately. But if she could fall so easily for Francesco again, then her marriage to Herbert must have been beyond saving, right?
So she reasoned, but at the same time she wasn't very convinced. Unwittingly she hoped and waited for Herbert to fight to get her back. If he'd just shown her that she still meant something to him, she'd gladly given their relationship a second chance. Just – he didn't. He just resigned to his fate without the tiniest sign of resistance until they eventually – today – got divorced.

Now Mae knew why.
Because he believed those lies about her. He should've known her better than that.
"That's proof he just never really loved me," she concluded.

"Well, he certainly didn't have a very high opinion about you... neither did your friends," Nia said. "Maybe you should be glad you got rid of them."

But Mae wasn't.

She was just very, very disappointed.

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Author's note:

Nia Blossom was donated by Froot. Thank you very much🖤