Retrospective: Paris - How we started

1.2 Francesco De la Cruz - Not now
Fall 1992, Diego's apartment

Three months had passed since Francesco had ran away from Suzette's offer. And maybe he was paranoid, but he had the feeling landing a job in the music industry had become harder than before. Somehow he always got late to auditions, if he ever heard about them. Somehow the juries did not like his performances as much as before, if he ever managed to catch one. He didn't even get to play support on minor bands, as he had before from time to time. The paranoia told him it was Suzette's revenge. But one person alone couldn't have so much power in the biggest music production company in France.

The numb feeling slowly started to fade away. And the withdrawal symptoms started. As painful as they were, Francesco felt relief. While under the influence of the drug, it was so hard to think about the next steps he had to take.
But sometimes everything was just too much to handle.
The impossibility to start the career he always wanted.
The loneliness he felt when he realized Diego was his only confidant in this strange country.
The reluctance he felt towards his boyfriend after he realized how dependant he was on this manipulative person, that had sold him out.
But he had nowhere to go.

So he took the time outs Diego offered him so generously.
Heroin.
First it was only smoking. Then the effect was not good enough, so he had to inject.
It was funny how the need for relief was stronger than his fear of syringes.

A flash of panic flickered up. It was still numb, but it was there to warn him. He had to get out of here. Now, not later. Unless he wanted to end up the addicted and drugged toy of his boyfriend.

"Not now..." he said. His whole body hurt. And Diego's touching was unbearable.
"Hmm... you need a pain reliever, cariño?", his boyfriend asked, not even thinking of stopping.
No, he didn't need one. He only needed to be left alone. But he was to weak for resistance.

"Maybe you don't", Diego continued.